Knowing when to say goodbye.
Knowing when to say goodbye to our pets and send them on their way to the rainbow bridge is difficult.
It is heartbreaking and takes a massive emotional toll on all those faced with these decisions. I am writing this now after sending Koffi over the bridge two days ago. It was her time to go and she went very peacefully, at home surrounded by her loved ones.
This article is perhaps more therapy for me. This year we have lost Koffi, and I expect our two senior boys also have limited lifespans and decisions may need to be made in the next 6-12 months. I am also struggling with Poco my 5year old Chi mix. He is in chronic pain, and if we are unable to manage this successfully I may have to consider what is best for him. I am also hoping this will help guide others having to face making this decision.
Owning pets and incorporating them as fully fledged family members is something that many people do. It is the right thing to do, and your pets love you for it. They should never be seen as a commodity or item that is replaceable or able to be thrown away when faulty – unfortunately there are also many that see animals in this light. If you are reading this, I am sure you stand with me in the first group.
Unfortunately with the joys of owning pets, we also have to experience the loss of them. This is hard, and knowing when the time is right, is not always clear cut or black and white.
There are a few things you can consider though that will help you with your decision.
#1 Acute vs Chronic
Sometimes you will find yourself in a position where there really is no other option, and it can be sudden and very much unexpected. Your pet may suffer a sudden medical catastrophe or trauma from which there is no chance of recovery.
Or you may be faced with a pet with chronic illness or pain. This is harder, and you will need to review the points below to choose when you deem the appropriate time.
#2 Talk to your Veterinarian
Listen to your veterinarian and be guided by them. Remember that quality of life is much more important than quantity of life.
#3 Make a list
Make a list of at least 3 things that your pet loves to do. If you find your pet is unable to do these things anymore, consider their quality of life or how you can modify them to still incorporate these things into your pet’s life.
Examples:
Food – if your pet isn’t eating their favourite foods talk to your vet – you may be able to add in medication that will alleviate nausea etc., or it may be time to consider what is best for your pet.
Walks – if your pet loved going on long walks with you but isn’t able to now. Are they able to go for an amble and smell their world? Do they enjoy this? I have made modifications for Darby and Arthur – they can still be incorporated in our walks, however they get to ride in a pram. They still get out and about and see and smell the world. But should this no longer be enjoyable – then maybe it’s time.
#4 Make a plan
If you have a pet with chronic illness or pain. Make a plan. Pick criteria that you feel are important – it will vary for everyone and is your choice. For my previous dog Biscuit, who developed renal failure, my criteria was when either she didn’t interact with my family and other pups, or when she hadn’t eaten for 3 days. The 3 days was the criteria she met, and we allowed her to pass over the bridge peacefully.
#5 Dignity
Is your pet able to toilet themselves, and if not, are you able to assist them to ensure they don’t end up unable to move away from excrement etc.? This can be a big thing to consider. Pets find this just as stressful as we do and it is very unpleasant for them. It can also lead to infection, pain, and fly strike.
If you go to work, is your pet able to stand up unassisted and negotiate to an area to toilet.
Once you have made the decision, you then need to make further plans.
Where, when, who will be present? What happens afterwards?
Where?
I choose to let mine go at home, this isn’t always feasible for everyone or every situation. It is more often than not performed in a veterinary clinic. If choosing to let them go at home, pick an area that they are comfortable in and that is well lit. The lighting is important for the veterinary team.
When?
If having this done at home, your veterinarian may not have the same flexibility for availability – however there are solely house call vets which may be able to meet your needs. Talk to your veterinarian.
Who will be present?
Will you stay? I’m not going to lie, most pets are more comfortable in the presence of their owners. However, we do understand that not everyone wants to stay for the procedure. If you choose not to stay, that is ok, and I want you to know that all veterinary staff will treat your pet with the respect, love and dignity that he or she deserves.
You should also consider that if a human becomes very emotionally upset or distraught prior to the procedure, this can feed on to your pet and they can become upset too.
If you choose to stay, will you have any family members or friends with you? What about children?
If children are going to be present please explain to them what is going on, and be cautious about using the words “put to sleep” and “put down”. They can find this unsettling and the next time someone mentions putting the baby down (we know they mean nap), but your average 5 year old may not.
After the procedure what happens?
You will also be asked prior to the procedure what you would like to do with your pet afterwards. This is a hard decision.
Many pet owners spend a few moments alone with their pet afterwards and say goodbye at this point. Others choose to take them home for burial, however your council may have regulations against this. Others choose to use a crematorium service and have their pet cremated and ashes returned. This is what I choose to do.
But what should you expect if you stay for the procedure?
Euthanasia is generally very quick.
Some pets may have a sedative given first and allowed 10-15 minutes for this to take effect. If you feel your pet would benefit from this please talk to your veterinarian.
The euthanasia medication is an overdose of an anaesthetic given intravenously.
So your pet will probably have a leg shaved. Alcohol is used to raise the vein, and a needle or intravenous catheter placed into the vein.
When the veterinarian has the IV placed, and asks if you are ready it will be very quick. The euthanasia solution is then administered.
At this point, your pet will lose consciousness rapidly (seconds), and pass not long after.
However there are somethings you should be aware of:
Don’t be afraid to show emotion afterwards. It is ok to cry.
Grief
It is normal to grieve for your pet. Please do not feel that you are over reacting.
Expect to feel numbness, and an overwhelming heavy sadness. You may even feel physical symptoms including but not limited to body or headaches, gastrointestinal upsets etc. and of course if this continues a visit to your own doctor is warranted.
You may feel lonely, even when surrounded by others. It is ok.
Talk to your friends or family, or even a grief counsellor. Take the time to review photos and videos and talk to each other about stories that your pet played a part in. You will never forget them.
You may feel a sense of relief especially when a pet has been ill or in pain for a period of time. This is perfectly acceptable and you should never feel guilty for this.
Over time you will recover and life will return with some normalcy. This time varies from person to person. Don’t rush it.
And your remaining pets may experience grief and loss too. This link may help you help them.
It is heartbreaking and takes a massive emotional toll on all those faced with these decisions. I am writing this now after sending Koffi over the bridge two days ago. It was her time to go and she went very peacefully, at home surrounded by her loved ones.
This article is perhaps more therapy for me. This year we have lost Koffi, and I expect our two senior boys also have limited lifespans and decisions may need to be made in the next 6-12 months. I am also struggling with Poco my 5year old Chi mix. He is in chronic pain, and if we are unable to manage this successfully I may have to consider what is best for him. I am also hoping this will help guide others having to face making this decision.
Owning pets and incorporating them as fully fledged family members is something that many people do. It is the right thing to do, and your pets love you for it. They should never be seen as a commodity or item that is replaceable or able to be thrown away when faulty – unfortunately there are also many that see animals in this light. If you are reading this, I am sure you stand with me in the first group.
Unfortunately with the joys of owning pets, we also have to experience the loss of them. This is hard, and knowing when the time is right, is not always clear cut or black and white.
There are a few things you can consider though that will help you with your decision.
#1 Acute vs Chronic
Sometimes you will find yourself in a position where there really is no other option, and it can be sudden and very much unexpected. Your pet may suffer a sudden medical catastrophe or trauma from which there is no chance of recovery.
Or you may be faced with a pet with chronic illness or pain. This is harder, and you will need to review the points below to choose when you deem the appropriate time.
#2 Talk to your Veterinarian
Listen to your veterinarian and be guided by them. Remember that quality of life is much more important than quantity of life.
#3 Make a list
Make a list of at least 3 things that your pet loves to do. If you find your pet is unable to do these things anymore, consider their quality of life or how you can modify them to still incorporate these things into your pet’s life.
Examples:
Food – if your pet isn’t eating their favourite foods talk to your vet – you may be able to add in medication that will alleviate nausea etc., or it may be time to consider what is best for your pet.
Walks – if your pet loved going on long walks with you but isn’t able to now. Are they able to go for an amble and smell their world? Do they enjoy this? I have made modifications for Darby and Arthur – they can still be incorporated in our walks, however they get to ride in a pram. They still get out and about and see and smell the world. But should this no longer be enjoyable – then maybe it’s time.
#4 Make a plan
If you have a pet with chronic illness or pain. Make a plan. Pick criteria that you feel are important – it will vary for everyone and is your choice. For my previous dog Biscuit, who developed renal failure, my criteria was when either she didn’t interact with my family and other pups, or when she hadn’t eaten for 3 days. The 3 days was the criteria she met, and we allowed her to pass over the bridge peacefully.
#5 Dignity
Is your pet able to toilet themselves, and if not, are you able to assist them to ensure they don’t end up unable to move away from excrement etc.? This can be a big thing to consider. Pets find this just as stressful as we do and it is very unpleasant for them. It can also lead to infection, pain, and fly strike.
If you go to work, is your pet able to stand up unassisted and negotiate to an area to toilet.
Once you have made the decision, you then need to make further plans.
Where, when, who will be present? What happens afterwards?
Where?
I choose to let mine go at home, this isn’t always feasible for everyone or every situation. It is more often than not performed in a veterinary clinic. If choosing to let them go at home, pick an area that they are comfortable in and that is well lit. The lighting is important for the veterinary team.
When?
If having this done at home, your veterinarian may not have the same flexibility for availability – however there are solely house call vets which may be able to meet your needs. Talk to your veterinarian.
Who will be present?
Will you stay? I’m not going to lie, most pets are more comfortable in the presence of their owners. However, we do understand that not everyone wants to stay for the procedure. If you choose not to stay, that is ok, and I want you to know that all veterinary staff will treat your pet with the respect, love and dignity that he or she deserves.
You should also consider that if a human becomes very emotionally upset or distraught prior to the procedure, this can feed on to your pet and they can become upset too.
If you choose to stay, will you have any family members or friends with you? What about children?
If children are going to be present please explain to them what is going on, and be cautious about using the words “put to sleep” and “put down”. They can find this unsettling and the next time someone mentions putting the baby down (we know they mean nap), but your average 5 year old may not.
After the procedure what happens?
You will also be asked prior to the procedure what you would like to do with your pet afterwards. This is a hard decision.
Many pet owners spend a few moments alone with their pet afterwards and say goodbye at this point. Others choose to take them home for burial, however your council may have regulations against this. Others choose to use a crematorium service and have their pet cremated and ashes returned. This is what I choose to do.
But what should you expect if you stay for the procedure?
Euthanasia is generally very quick.
Some pets may have a sedative given first and allowed 10-15 minutes for this to take effect. If you feel your pet would benefit from this please talk to your veterinarian.
The euthanasia medication is an overdose of an anaesthetic given intravenously.
So your pet will probably have a leg shaved. Alcohol is used to raise the vein, and a needle or intravenous catheter placed into the vein.
When the veterinarian has the IV placed, and asks if you are ready it will be very quick. The euthanasia solution is then administered.
At this point, your pet will lose consciousness rapidly (seconds), and pass not long after.
However there are somethings you should be aware of:
- Your pet will not shut his or her eyes
- Some pets vocalise
- Some pets will have agonal breaths – these look like gasps, however are a post mortem reflex and your pet is unaware
- Some pets will have muscle twitching – it is just the body using the excess energy
- Some pets will lose control of their bladder and bowels
Don’t be afraid to show emotion afterwards. It is ok to cry.
Grief
It is normal to grieve for your pet. Please do not feel that you are over reacting.
Expect to feel numbness, and an overwhelming heavy sadness. You may even feel physical symptoms including but not limited to body or headaches, gastrointestinal upsets etc. and of course if this continues a visit to your own doctor is warranted.
You may feel lonely, even when surrounded by others. It is ok.
Talk to your friends or family, or even a grief counsellor. Take the time to review photos and videos and talk to each other about stories that your pet played a part in. You will never forget them.
You may feel a sense of relief especially when a pet has been ill or in pain for a period of time. This is perfectly acceptable and you should never feel guilty for this.
Over time you will recover and life will return with some normalcy. This time varies from person to person. Don’t rush it.
And your remaining pets may experience grief and loss too. This link may help you help them.